i want loneliness for myself again, love has made me weak.

i have so much love for him, it consumes me. all i want is for him to leave so i can feel bad and stay that way. i just need a real reason to feel as badly as i already do.

all roads of introspection lead me back to this familiar place and i fear it's all i'll ever be.

and so love has made me weak, it demands more of me than i ever would. these days, my thoughts get so overwhelming that it cuts my breath short. sirens call for me to go down a hedonistic, self-loathing, degenerate downward spiral in solitude, but love has made me weak.

so for now i exist in this dichotomous hell, afraid to pursue the necessary change but all too comfortable in my selfish stupor.

love has made me weak.