i have work in approximately 1 hour and 19 minutes. i don't want to go. on monday morning i messed up a few things at work and so naturally my manager said something to me. i'm stubborn and can't take criticism, i would rather die cold and alone. i think i was particularly made about this because (1) she looks like my 8th grade english teacher, who i hated. i think they're twins actually, 99% sure (2) i need to be perfect all the time.

i got nina on that femcel icons quiz. i never really thought of myself as a nina. mostly a fleabag. a myorar narrator or a mia wallace perhaps. i guess i am fragile.

i like this better than therapy honestly. sometimes i need to just talk, without being therapized and rationalized and normalized etc etc blah blah. i already do that on my own, maybe a little more harshly than i should. i love you though christine.

i finish at 9:15 pm. awful. not that i would be doing anything of real substance during that time at home anyway. but i'd like the option still, you know?

feeling: fragmented

they should invent a drug that makes you feel good