how are you?
how are you? how have you been? are you eating well? do you still dread the mornings? have those late nights brought you any comfort yet?
lately i find myself back in a familiar place. physically but mostly emotionally. i moved back to the city and my apartment is right near my old high school. don't know why i am so drawn to suffering. i recognize the smells and i know when the lights will turn green, but there is a thick fog in the air that i get lost in every time i leave the apartment. can you tell i didn't enjoy high school? i'm trying to tell myself that it will pass with time and that i just need to condition myself to not be sick with uneasiness. i saw some familiar faces the other day and it made me feel no different- so i guess it is kind of working.
i am listening to slow music again. i exclusively listened to fast, pop, hyperpop music for maybe 2 years because i didn't want to stop and slow down. the words needed to be loud and come at me fast because i was scared that if i had a moment to breath that all the bad things i had worked so hard to chase away would find me again. well guess what dumb bitch they still came back. and so i am listening to my old music. i am listening to a lot of beach house and slow pulp and frank ocean's blonde and rusty clanton again. i think it would be nice if there was a comment feature on here but i do also like the screaming into the void vibe of it all. i would ask you what music you're listening to and what you recommend i listen to. i would ask you about your day and your mom and your friends and how school is going and tell you i miss you and that i can't wait to see you.
for you:
- oh isabella - rusty clanton
- solo - frank ocean
- high - slow pulp
- lujon - henry mancini
- godspeed - frank ocean
- silver soul - beach house
- be my angel - mazzy star
- mexican dream - piero piccioni